Dealing with a narcissist in your life can be crushing, trapping and leave you feeling completely confused and full of self doubt. If this is where you are its important to get help and start to put your life back together. A true narcissist feeds of your energy leaving you less. So how do you deal with a narcissist so you can start to regain control of your life?
Here are a few things that will create space and allow you to separate yourself so some of the fog can start to clear.
1. Tell Them Nothing
Now I realize some of you reading this may have to still communicate with a narcissist. What I mean by this is no information that is personal, a narcissist LOVES personal info so they can use it against you later if need be, also they LOVE to spread your personal info to others. They can not be trusted, keep your communication with them short. It will also help you in other ways. The narcissist feeds off of that, if you don't feed them they need to find another source. Which brings us to #2.
2. Limit Your Time With Them
The best practice is to get a narcissist out of your life completely, if they don't need to be there ie. a friend cut them loose they will just bring you down. If your not that lucky to be able to cut them loose then make sure you are doing everything you can to limit your time with them. A narcissist loves control and controlling you is a favorite past time. The more you hang around a narcissist the more you will trapped.
3. Save The Drama For Your Mama
They will do whatever it takes to suck you into their drama, and we have to be careful because we as human love drama. Even when we say to ourselves "I don't like drama in my life" Thats a lie, we love it we jsut need the right type of drama in our lives like the adventure of bettering ourselves and attaining goals. The easier, more damaging drama is given in abundance with a narcissist. Always with a story of how someone wronged them and how they need you on there side. Next thing you know your in the middle of a fight that you have nothing to do with. Steer the conversation onto something else or get out of that type of conversation as fast as possible.
4. Do not attack back
Remember when you are dealing with a narcissist that you are on their chess board. They make the rules and do not care about yours which is why most of them constantly cross boundaries. When they make unflattering remarks towards you remember they feed off of your emotional reaction. The best thing you can say in that moment is something like "Its not my business to change your false view of me". Anything along those lines tells the narcissist that I'm not on your chess board and I will not play your game.
5. Your Mind-Yours To Control
Its difficult to deal with a narcissist and can seem nearly impossible to get away from one as I know all to well. The best way to get through it is to control your mind the best you know how this to shall pass. When you feel drained or you can not move past the thought of them you must take action. Go to the gym, go hang out in a healthy environment with friends. Try to stay away from alcohol or anything else that can cloud the mind even more. Here are two tactics that worked amazingly for me. The first leads into the second, I start to put out positive thoughts towards the narcissist, hoping they get help & wishing for a better life for them. Which leads into the second, think about what it would be like to be in their minds for 5 minutes... torture comes to my mind for anyone trying to hold all that negativity up in the air like that. It allows a little space for empathy.
6. Do Not Feel Sorry For Them
Its a trap! Do not feel sorry for a narcissist, getting people to feel bad for them is how they try and build up their support group. The flying monkeys that believe their hype. You will notice a narcissist when in an argument will bring up others you know that they are sharing all this personal info with and then make the statement that they also know you are wrong. Playing on peoples soft side is what they do.