IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU ARE PROBABLY HAVING TROUBLE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS...
ARE YOU AFRAID THAT YOU ARE THE PROBLEM??
If you are experiencing problems and fear you may be a narcissist, take this checklist and journal about it in the dark where no one can see you! Just kidding of course! BUT... It's OUR JOB TO BE ACCOUNTABLE. The following is adapted from the nine narcissistic traits listed in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.)
HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS TO ANSWER
Do I exaggerate my accomplishments and say I have done things I have not done? Do I act more important than others?
Am I unrealistic about my thoughts and desires regarding love, beauty, success, and intelligence? Do I seek power in these things?
Do I believe that I am so special and unique that only the best institutions and the highest academic professionals could possibly understand me?
Do I need to be admired all the time to the point of excess?
Do I have a sense of entitlement and expect to be treated differently and with more status than others?
Do I exploit others to get what I want or need?
Do I lack empathy and therefore never see what others are feeling or needing? Can I put myself in other people's shoes? Can I show empathy?
Am I jealous and competitive with others or unreasonably, without logic, think that others are jealous of me?
Am I a haughty person who acts arrogant and "better than" with my friends, colleagues, and family?
And I add one more to this list:
Am I capable of authentic love, meaning I can give unconditional love to my children?
Remember having some traits are just part of being a human. Empathy is the key, If you are willing to listen and understand others you are good to go! Now go find someone to hug!
Many adult children of narcissistic parents report their biggest fear is discovering that they too may have some narcissistic traits. If a narcissistic parent raised you, have you wondered that as well? If we are raising children, it is even more important to question this! One of our goals for recovery is to parent in a different way than our parent did with more empathy. The other goal is to spend the time working on one's self.
Remember that the trademark for maternal narcissism is lack of empathy and the inability to give unconditional love. If you can do these things....GOOD NEWS! You are not a narcissist. Now, relax as you read the rest of this article! Given that narcissism is a spectrum disorder, we all have some traits along that continuum and having some narcissistic traits at the lower end of that spectrum is considered normal and healthy. The more traits along the spectrum that one has, the more difficulties they will encounter in the world of personal relationships i.e., giving empathy and tuning into the emotional needs of their children.